Parseable replaces expensive Elasticsearch clusters and fragmented monitoring stacks with a single Rust binary that ingests, queries, and stores logs, metrics, and traces on commodity object storage at a fraction of the cost. The data lake architecture decouples stateless compute from S3-compatible storage, enabling independent scaling of ingestion throughput and query capacity while cutting storage costs by up to 90% compared to indexed alternatives. OpenTelemetry-native OTLP ingestion accepts telemetry from existing OTel collector pipelines, Prometheus Remote Write endpoints, Kafka consumers, eBPF probes, and popular logging agents including Fluentd, Fluent Bit, and Vector without proprietary format conversions. The SQL-first query interface enables cross-signal analysis across all telemetry types, while native PromQL support with 50+ functions and 12 aggregation operators provides Prometheus-compatible metrics querying that works directly with Grafana dashboards. Built-in features include customizable dashboards, real-time alerting with Webhook, Slack, and Alertmanager targets, role-based access control, OpenID single sign-on integration, LogIQ automatic unstructured-to-structured log transformation, smart caching for frequently accessed data, and retention policies for lifecycle management. AI-powered Keystone Q&A provides natural language to SQL conversion and dataset summarization. All data stored as standard Apache Parquet on object storage remains accessible to any Parquet-compatible engine (DuckDB, Spark, Trino), ensuring zero vendor lock-in. Deploys on AWS S3, Azure Blob, Google Cloud Storage, MinIO, Wasabi, and DigitalOcean Spaces. Running on a dedicated VPS on RepoCloud with guaranteed CPU, RAM, and SSD, full root SSH access, and a browser serial console. Apache 2.0 licensed.