Urocissa is a self-hosted photo and video gallery engineered to browse, search, and filter a million-image library in under a second on modest hardware. Its photo stream scrolls endlessly without pagination or lazy loading, flying past the browser DOM height limit that breaks other galleries long before a million items. Search understands boolean operators, so a query mixing and, or, and not narrows a lifetime of photos in milliseconds, and select-all is equally instant across the whole collection. Point it at folders and it watches them for new arrivals, importing photos and videos automatically while duplicate detection keeps redundant copies out. EXIF data is extracted for every image, and your own tags layer manual organization on top, with timeline navigation and rotation built in. Albums share collections with family or clients, a read-only mode publishes a public gallery safely, and videos play inline without leaving the page. The index that makes this fast lives in memory at roughly half a gigabyte per million photos, and the whole application ships as a binary of about 25 megabytes, optionally protected by a password. Running on a dedicated VPS on RepoCloud with guaranteed CPU, RAM, and SSD, full root SSH access, and a browser serial console. MIT licensed.